This video and text segment is yet another example of reductionist psychology, but he does mention that it's typical for family members in these types of scenarios to be alcoholic, and thus minimum their calgium to magnesium ratio is highly off balance which indicates cravings for carbohydrates, alcohol, refined sugars, and thus is a clear co-dependency ratio demonstration.
What they do not explain much at all is how every family needs a scapegoat for many reasons and the biggest is so they don't have to think for themselves primarily because they never developed self-esteem among many other concepts. One of the biggest reasons they never developed and kept self-esteem is because their cellular health was never optimal. It's always easier to target an external factor and person in very dysfunctional families.
My name is Jerry Wise and I would like to discuss the various ways in which narcissistic families punish the scapegoat. Many individuals may not even realize that they are the scapegoat in their family, but there are certain traits that can help identify this role, such as being the scapegoat, mascot, lost child, or golden child. These roles are deeply ingrained in the family's emotional system and often go unnoticed by those involved. One of the ways in which the scapegoat is punished is through gaslighting, which involves manipulating their perception of reality and making them doubt their own thoughts and feelings. Another tactic is the silent treatment, which isolates the scapegoat and makes them feel like an outcast. It is important for the scapegoat to learn how to stand their ground and not be swayed by the manipulations of their family.
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If excessive information is being brought up that we do not wish to discuss as a family, such as issues like alcoholism, narcissism, or abuse within the family, we may resort to using the silent treatment as a means to isolate you from this reality. Our intention is for you to remain quiet so that we can punish you by refusing to engage in conversation and isolating you. However, it is important to recognize that this approach, while powerful, is also abusive. Another tactic that may be employed is triangulation, where a third party is brought in to side against the scapegoat. This allows for the formation of coalitions against the scapegoat, and the narcissistic family often seeks out individuals who are more easily manipulated or compliant in this triangulation. As a pastor, I have personally experienced a great deal of triangulation and have been unjustly labeled as "bad" without understanding why.
Gaslighting was also used, where false claims were made about me not greeting certain individuals, even though I have no recollection of intentionally neglecting to do so. This distorted reality is then used to recruit others, who may not have the full picture, to join in the triangulation against me or whoever is the scapegoat in the system. I refer to this collective group as the "cabal," where emotionally connected individuals unite against the scapegoat. I am aware of families, even extended ones, who have formed such cabals due to the prevalence of alcoholism within the family.
The former scapegoat, who had successfully undergone recovery, had become the head of the family business. However, he was suddenly ousted from his position because the rest of the family did not want him to bring up their parents' alcoholism or label them as alcoholics. As a result, he was made the fourth scapegoat and subjected to projection, where he was blamed for everything that the dysfunctional family thought, felt, and did. This behavior is a classic example of projection, where the narcissistic family members accuse the scapegoat of their own faults. Additionally, the family members resorted to competitive comparisons to undermine the scapegoat's self-esteem and make him question himself. This kind of behavior is not limited to families but can also be observed in various parts of society.
In dysfunctional and narcissistic families, individuals are often assigned a value based on comparisons to others, leading to emotional blackmail and manipulation. This can manifest in comments such as "I wish you were more like your brother/sister/aunt" or "Joe's family is more successful than ours, why aren't you like them?" These comparisons are often competitive and abusive, as they assign value based solely on external factors such as money or success. In family therapy, it can be helpful to explore how each member is valued and assigned a "price tag" in order to address emotional blackmail and manipulation.
I am certain that other children have different experiences with their parents, involving comparisons and emotional manipulation. These two tactics can even be combined, resulting in a form of invalidation. Invalidation disregards your opinions, memories, and beliefs, making your desires irrelevant. I recall a conversation I had with my mother on multiple occasions regarding a particular situation. It is important to note that my mother, like most people, had both positive and negative qualities. However, dealing with a narcissistic parent presents significant challenges, as you become invisible in their constant invalidation. It feels as though whatever you say simply goes unnoticed, as if you are speaking to someone with a deer-in-the-headlights expression. Your words are invalidated, and your desires are dismissed. They may smile, but they are not truly listening. Additionally, selective memory is another tactic employed by narcissists. They may acknowledge certain events from the past, such as going to the lake, but conveniently forget instances of abuse by the neighbor next door.
They possess a selective recollection of those experiences, and this selective memory can be incredibly frustrating because it prevents holding them accountable. They will either conveniently forget or outright deny past events, claiming ignorance or attributing false sources. Despite lacking any personal agenda, they still insist on their mistaken beliefs, which is a significant matter to be mistaken about. It becomes a means to punish the scapegoat through their selective memory. These instances all revolve around the scapegoat and how they are portrayed. They depict the scapegoat as unbelievable, recounting outrageous statements made by others and spreading them to further solidify this perception. Consequently, others begin to view the scapegoat as manipulative and unreliable.
This is the confusing propaganda that misleads us all
There's no such thing as a "balanced diet" & nutrition isn't merely food. Why is that? It's because we're all individuals. Orthomolecular nutrition is the individualized analysis application of the substances within the food which our bodies often do not obtain enough of and are often blocked by antagonists.
"Nutrition" is far more than merely the trivial concept of food.
Botanists analyze the terrain to help plants prevent and restore cell function. Why not for humans?
What are YOUR individual cell nutritional imbalances?
The individual is attempting to manipulate the situation, and regardless of how you fill in the blanks, the scapegoat is always seen as the manipulator. They will try to twist things to their advantage, and if you become a scapegoat or a truth teller, you will be seen as having changed for the worse, not the better. Others will say that you are different now, and not in a good way. They will also blame you for causing family anger and divisions, and paint you as the true cause of all the dysfunction. In some cases, you may even be deemed undeserving of information and kept in the dark about important family matters.
You are unaware of the reasons behind your mother and siblings being in the hospital, as well as who had a baby and when. The information is deliberately being kept from you, which serves as a form of punishment for being labeled as the scapegoat. You are cast as the detached one, while they become overly involved with you, creating a paradoxical and projected type of punishment. In other words, they perceive you as being too distant from the family, yet they are excessively enmeshed with you, making you important in a negative way. They constantly talk about you, obsess over you, and involve others in discussions about you. However, they fail to recognize your efforts to establish some distance and find a sense of self. Ironically, you are actually trying to break free from the enmeshment. It is important to address both the enmeshment and the family dynamics when seeking liberation. Some individuals are able to break free from the enmeshment while maintaining a connection with their family. If you are interested in further training on this topic, I invite you to explore my online program called "Your New Road to Self," which includes a year's worth of coaching in a group setting once a month. Thank you for watching today, and I wish you a good day filled with wisdom.